Well yesterday I had my second session of chemo. My veins are getting tired on my left arm. I didn't have a reaction to the chemo this time which was very good. The nurse (John) sat with me for a good 1/2 hour to make sure I would be OK. We did find out yesterday when we saw the Dr. that my Mom has a tumor but it is not cancer. Also her brain has shrunk probably from age. Over all we did pretty good yesterday. Jerry who is my hero drove us and watched over us and took good care of us. Today I went back out to the Dr. and had that terrible shot called Nulasta not to be confused with the sleep aid Lunesta. It makes my bones hurt like crazy but it builds white blood cells back up so I need it but it really hurts. I can tell I am starting the bad part again. My mouth is getting raw and I feel tired and starting to feel sick. I am dreading the next week or so but know that I can do it.
What I want to talk about is some of the things that have happened for the last week or so. First, last weekend we went to Kandiss' house and went to the fair. We had a really good time. Sydney went crazy with joy when she got to ride the pony's. She was so cute and unfortunately my camera was with Kandiss and her camera. Nataly's favorite was the big slide. I went down with Nataly and couldn't believe how crazy it was. I was laughing so hard and then the Girls went up again with their Mom & Dad and had just as much fun. We took a crazy picture of Jeff, Jerry and Myself with our bald heads. It was very strange for me to be in public with no hair. Most of the time I didn't remember but when someone would look at me I remembered because of the double take that they all do. I remember doing it many times.
The night before when Jerry was driving us up to Stansbury my head was itching and hair falling out but Kandiss wanted so bad to shave my head that I tried not to touch it too much. But when we got there and she ran her hands through my hair she started crying and said she couldn't do it. I told her my story of my mothers hair falling out. I remember asking her if she wanted to have her head shaved and she said no but would I please just brush it until it all came out. Joyce was there and started crying and left the room. I stayed and brushed it out and remember what a gift it was. It was one of the most difficult things I have done. But it was also one of the most special gifts of my life. So I told this story to Kandiss and asked her to take this chance for a special gift in her life. I hope she was not too burdened by that experience. She did a great job in my opinion. There are some pictures of the shaving and Jerry using my hair as his long beard.
The next morning when Nataly and Sydney woke up and saw my head was bald became very afraid of me. Nataly started crying and would not look at me. Finally during breakfast we talked and things got better. I told Nataly that most of her friends Grandparents had hair but her Nana did not have any. So when she got to the bus stop and her friends showed up she ran up to them and told them that her Nana didn't have any hair. She was a great social icon for the day. It was worth losing my hair for that alone. She even told her bus drivers. Nataly is great and little Sydney is a joy. I miss them all the time.
Saturday we went up to the Rock Quarry and spent a couple of hours up there and I always feel healed when I am there. The girls walked all over with us and had a good time. We talked about building a cabin up there. We have talked about that for a long time. Maybe sometime we will. It would a great place for us to gather together and grow close as a family. Extended family.
I can't remember if I wrote about Labor Day weekend. But my baby Gabby was given a name and blessing. The Lord blessed me with my hair for the day and I was grateful. Gabby looked so sweet and it was a special blessing for her and us. I finished her dress the day before. I had gone to Costco and bought a bunch of food for after the blessing and it turned out great. The Millgates where there for the blessing and that was wonderful. The Strongs came down from SLC and it was great being with them and there kids. Shirlene and Kody came with there wonderful little guys and we had a really nice time with everyone. I was very tired but decided that I would not miss anything. These times have always been a joy to me. I think there are some pictures from swimming together and some of the blessing.
Thank you everyone for praying and your thoughts for me. I feel them everyday. They are the things that help me get through the days that suck. I love all of you and love seeing and hearing from you.
To Jerry who is my best friend I love you more than life itself. Kandiss, Tasha and Whitney who have been my continual joy. My babies, Nataly, Sydney, Cash and Gabrielle who give constant joy and laughter. May you all know how much you have given my strength. A special thanks to all my family and friends who have touched my soul to the core.
Love Kathlene
