Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Just Pictures





08-27-08 One Week Down only 93 days left


Well maybe tomorrow the dress will done. It has been a driving force to finish. I have until Saturday. Not really though the family is starting to come tomorrow. We will have both Millgates and Thayns down here. How did this happen? I could not have put it together even if I had the money to bribe everyone. So there is someone behind the scenes, we know who. Today is the first day I have felt pretty good. I called the Dr. yesterday and she called in some prescriptions for me. This mouthwash for the sores in my mouth and throat was prepared by the devil, it is awful. But it helps so I use it. Food is almost impossible to get down and if you do it tastes like a dirty dish clothe. I was also given a prescription for Dyflucan, the mircle drug. She gave 7 days worth. I already feel like a new bottom half. I quit taking the compozine it makes me feel really bad. But the Ativan is working well. Today I didn't take a nap and now I am the last person awake down here.

I worked at the bus yard today and felt pretty good. It was a good meeting. I spoke a couple of times with Don Smith who is the insurance broker for Mom & Dad. We feel the now have fairly great coverage. I worked at the office doing mostly catch up work. Mom had her toenail removed today and it is quite sore.

Big change ---- I actually watched a little of HSN ^ QVC and found things that interest me. Didn't buy anything which is good because Chemo Brains shouldn't make fashion decisions.

Last week there was a terrible accident that took the life of a young mother and one of her sons age 8, sent her other son to the Primary Children Hospital. Jerry & I went to the video store and say a box asking for donations. I knew I didn't have any cash surprise surprise so I said to Jerry give me all your cash we have to give right now. It took me out of self pity for quite some time amazing to think. Find the gifts that happen in experience of pain and suffering they are gifts that will change your perspective forever.
Kathlene

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

08-26-08 6 days down and 94 left






Wow, last night was painful. I had so much pain in my bones which is from the shot of white blood cell builder they gave me. I am going to call and see if I can go to the Chiropractor today. Also my mouth is getting sores in it and my entire private parts front to back is raw and burning. I know to much info but Jerry had to listen to me moan all night long.

I worked on Gabby's dress this morning. I put in the sleeves. They are so tiny that it makes it difficult to sew them in especially when you can't see very good anymore.

Here is a cut picture of Gabby. She is getting so funny now. I hope I can spend time with her in the next few months. I usually can only hold her for a few minutes. Kandiss called this morning and said Nataly went to school today. And Nataly was so excited. I told her not to let her ever go to school but she told me Nana I have to I am five.

Monday, August 25, 2008

08-25-08 5 days post chemo 95 days left

I got up this morning around 5:00 AM. Jerry kept telling me to go back to bed. But really when I can be awake and do something I am going to do just that. Today I got up and cleaned of my bathroom counter, scrubbed my shower, scrubbed my toilet and the floor around it. I started my shower and the creepy pain in my right arm caused by the removal of the lymph nodes started going to town. Well, I was already spent. So my goal today and maybe everyday is to do things that last about 15 minutes. This seems to be the amount of time I can tell how I am going to feel. I used to do this on my to do list. Everything that I could think of was laid out in 10-15 minutes intervals. I usually never got it all done but always got to cross off a bunch of things to do. This will be a little different because it might take me a week to cross off more than one thing but at least I don't feel dead when I am doing or thinking about doing.

I am still trying to complete Gabby's dress. When Grandma got her new sewing machine I got her old one. The problem is that it doesn't work so now I have to take it in to get it fixed so I can finish this dress. Or maybe I can try on her new sewing machine but I don't think I read all that info and still feel good enough to sew.

Last night Jerry & Whitney made tacos. I made the most beautiful taco I have seen in months. Fresh tortilla, taco meat, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, salt and pepper. I rolled it up in a paper towel so not one thing would fall out. Sat down and took on bite, yuck. It tasted like the paper towel. Second bite, even worse. What is this stuff that leaches into your mouth so that even when your not nauseated it tastes like paint or petroleum. It is hard to remember why I feel so terrible and that this is the best thing for me. My eyes are starting to burn and my head/hair hurts when I touch it. I can see how people get depressed. You don't feel good enough to feel anything else. Please stand by me during this it is not forever. 2009 will be a new year for me and all of us.

This is private for my children. Treat each other like today is the last day you have together. What would your thoughts be toward each other. Would you be jeolous or angry or would you be kind and gentle. Honor your spouses they are the fathers of my grandkids. Patience with those little ones if they need a minute give them 10 minutes because surely no one else will. I love you all and am so sorry for being such a drag.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Pictures I Found on My Camera





Saturday 08-23-08

Saturday 08-23-8


Today I have worked on the baby blessing dress for baby Gabby. I am having trouble seeing. We choice a soft orange creme ribbon on white eyelet. I think she will be darling in it.

Just a little update on this chemo thing. It really sucks. Like it sucks the life out of you. I feel so out of it all the time. I want to get up an get things done. But something just chokes the life out of me. I feel like I just got off a Merry Go Round and am nauseated. Dizzy, food taste like a dog bone. Consistant headache. My mouth tastes and feels like concrete. So I am calling this "I FEEL FUNKY".

Jerry is trying so hard to be patient with me. Last night on a Friday night I could not stay awake after 6:30 pm. He has got to be so bored with me. I am bored with me. Sorry about the negative report but today is just to strange.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Chemo was today




Today was the first day chemo. So my mom asked me (Kandiss) to blog for her tonight. She is really tired tonight. They did not have very much fun today at chemo. She had an allergic reaction to the chemo. The nurse said that it is common for people to have a reaction to the chemo. But for my mom she said that her back and hips felt like they were breaking. So when she told them that was happening they stopped the chemo and gave her some benedryl. That took away the pain and they started the chemo again but slower. My dad is having a hard time today. I know it was hard for him to be there watching my mom go through this. Grandma was there with her today. They took some pictures at chemo. Please keep praying for my mom. She wants me to let every one that she loves, and thanks every one for your prayers. She just wants all of to stay positive.

Love,
Kandiss

My fam








I'm not really blogging today. I am just puting pictures of my family on.

Monday, August 18, 2008

8-18-08 journal 1

I jsut want all of you to know that my daught Kandiss suggested that I do a journal. I thought that was a really good idea so every knows how I am doing and whats going on. We also talked about putting pictures on the blog too. I am feeling really good and chemo on Wed the 20th at 1pm. Mom and I are going together in a "chemo carpool". Today I had my 2 week check up with the surgen today and said that every thing looks good. We also had to go to the radiation doctor today and he said that every thing looks good to. I am going to start radiation after chemo is done. I hope every stays postitive for me and remeber our little fam in your prayers. Love you guys!!!!

Love,
Kathlene

Friday, August 8, 2008

My Breast Cancer

Today I got my results from my PET Scan that I had 08/06/08. Jerry and I were driving to a Chiroprator appointment and I was so afraid of hearing what the results were. This scan shows most cancer that you have in body so it is very important. So when they called I couldn't breath. But then the words the results show that everything is clear. This is the highlight of my cancer so far. I felt like if it had shown more cancer that I would not have the courage to follow through. I feel strong today. I believe that I can do this treatment. I don't want to but I will. Thank you to my little family. All the phone calls, the questions, hugs, prayers and positive thoughts help me hve courage. I love you all and kisses to you Jerry.